Skip to content

Apr 15

8 Comments

You might be a Pequot Indian if…

iStock_000016054182SmallKicking it “Jeff Foxworthy style” this week, and it’s all in good fun.  After all, if we can’t laugh at ourselves, we’re taking life way too seriously.  So without further ado, here goes nothing…

  • If your seasons are fall, winter, still winter, and tourist season, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you have six hundred cousins but only know fifteen of them personally, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you have a high tech, pin-point laser-accurate home security alert system, HD video surveillance equipment and a couple of pit bulls but you still leave your front door unlocked, you might be a Pequot.
  • If “soveign-tree” is an actual word in your vocabulary, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you have more “frenemies” than friends, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you’re related to two hundred gifted public speakers but it’s the other relatives who occupy tribal meeting microphones, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you look nothing like your cousins yet share the same highly opinionated, strong-willed, stubborn personality traits, you might be a Pequot.
  • If the terms “family lines”, “incentives”, “elections” and “annual meeting” stir up all kinds of emotionally charged feelings inside of you, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you are annoyed when someone forgets who his or her great, great grandmother was, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you share the name Earl, Roy, Earl Roy, or Roy Earl with thirty of your closest relatives, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you fire up your barbecue to cook for your family of four and end up feeding fifteen, you might be a Pequot.
  • If tribal naming ceremonies include adopting the names of animals from continents other than the one on which you live, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you’ve memorized the acronym “EBITDA” and you know exactly what it stands for, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you blast your ATV down local roads as often as you do trails, you might be a Pequot.
  • If cultural bonfires make you think of fry bread, succotash, Dunkin Donuts and KFC, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you know how to drift your Nissan Sentra in the back parking lot of the community center, you might be a Pequot.
  • If security guard shacks at the entrance of each housing area have not been manned in more than twelve years, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you have an unemployed relative who managed to pay cash for a lift kit or new set of  rims to pimp out his ride, you might be a Pequot.
  • If your world-class museum and research center doubles as a funeral parlor, you might be a Pequot.
  • If folks living two or three towns away hate your guts without ever bothering to get to know you personally, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you park in all the reservation “no parking” zones, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you have relatives with advanced college degrees employed as retail clerks, customer service associates, keno runners, waiters, housekeepers or blackjack dealers, you might be a Pequot.
  • If your casino is run by everyone except your tribe, you might be a Pequot.
  • If all the local towns’ gas stations sell cheaper fuel than you do, you might be a Pequot.
  • If you have the worlds most confusing, elaborate flow chart for how a bright idea becomes a tribal council resolution, you might be a Pequot.

Ok guys, it’s your turn…which ones did I miss?

Jan 28

1 Comment

Inter-tribal unity…for real this time?

When I worked in public relations at Foxwoods, some of the most common questions I received from news reporters were about the Pequot’s relationship with the Mohegan tribe, as well as any other New England tribe who might one day build a casino of their own.

“Are you guys worried about future competition?”

“What if that tribe expands their business across the river?”

 “What if those tribes build resorts near Boston?”

I usually replied in a way that let people know we not only embrace other tribes, we also wished them well in their endeavors.   There’s a very good reason for that.

When Foxwoods opened to the public, our tribal council recognized our success was not simply “all about us”.  Our newfound fortune represented something radically unique and unusual – an opportunity for tribes across the country to create sustainable economic development for their own people. If it worked for us, perhaps it might work for them.

The Mashantucket Pequots had a legal monopoly in the early nineties.  We did not have to re-open our gaming compact with the state of Connecticut to allow another tribe to build another resort.  We chose to do it, and the rest is history.  Now, with more than 240 tribes operating 460 casinos in 28 states, Indian gaming has mushroomed into a $27 billion dollar industry in only 20 years, and it all began right here at Mashantucket.

unitySo when I read a national news article about our tribal council chairman and the Mohegan tribe’s chairman coming together to build lasting relationships and inter-tribal unity, and share resources to address common issues, I was encouraged!   After all, building unity between our tribes has not been easy, because historically, the Pequots, Mohegans and Narragansetts were often as much bitter rivals as they were brotherly neighbors.

Each spring, our tribe commemorates the Pequots’ survival of one of the very first genocidal massacres against an Indian tribe within what we now know as the continental United States.   Nearly 400 years ago, the Mohegans and Narragansetts joined forces with the English against the Pequots and murdered approximately 400 Pequot women, children and elders in less than one hour.  So are we finally over it?  Have we really set aside our respective grudges so we can focus our energies on forgiveness, friendship, and unity?

As more and more cultural and recreational tribal unity events are planned to bring local tribes together, there appears to be a growing conscious effort to get to know one another and build positive relationships.    But let’s face it…if our tribes are serious about building relationships and if these unity efforts are authentic, the resulting effects really ought to permeate our communities as well as our resort enterprises.

It’s my hope that by encouraging authentic inter-tribal unity, we might squelch the potential for any hypocritical actions of non-tribal executives and business consultants who may scramble and scheme behind closed doors, squandering each tribe’s resources in self-serving attempts to one-up and out bid each other in marketing sponsorships, advertising and brand placement efforts.  Granted, that kind of activity would represent a worst-case scenario…but I’m just saying.

I want to know what you think.  Are inter-tribal unity events working to foster real unity among tribes?  Have we really let bygones be bygones and buried the hatchet from offenses that happened hundreds of years ago?  Are there ways we can do better, and if so, how?

Jan 1

1 Comment

What happened in the past…

As we face the clean slate of a new calendar year, lets try and learn what we can from 2012.  My prayer for this year is to let go of the old, embrace the new and learn from the bad stuff.  

May we not allow our past to define us, but instead, teach us.  

May we prohibit our good experiences from rendering us comfortable and complacent, for  the idleness of contentment often breeds disdain, laziness and indifference.

May our negative experiences not consume us, but render us more compassionate, humble, caring, and loving.  

May we be willing to change ourselves more than our desire to change everything and everyone around us.

May we be willing to encourage, help and uplift one another with pure motives; without expecting anything in return.

How will you write 2013?

Ahead of us lies the new adventures of unexplored territory…the threshold of an unwritten destiny.

Will you continue to stare longingly behind you, tormented by the storms of the past and fixated on what could have been, or will you commit to setting your eyes firmly on the road in front of you, embracing chance, newness and creativity?  The sky is the limit and the opportunity is entirely yours.

Rear-View-Mirror-Sky

 

Dec 10

2 Comments

Six reasons to get over that grudge

Holding a grudge is a common way of mentally punishing people for hurting and offending us in our past, but in the long run these grudges cause more problems for ourselves mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  If we truly want to see unity and healing happen, we need to understand the importance of forgiveness and why it’s the only way to bring true reconciliation.

What forgiveness is

Forgiveness is not for the person who offended you. It’s for YOU.  It’s not a dismissal of the trauma, incident or offense as if it never happened to you, but exchanges your anger and bitterness for faith in our Creator’s ability and willingness to have your back.  Forgiveness is:

“The willingness to forgive is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity. It is one of the great virtues to which we all should aspire. Imagine a world filled with individuals willing both to apologize and to accept an apology. Is there any problem that could not be solved among people who possessed the humility and largeness of spirit and soul to do either — or both — when needed?”-  Gordon B. Hinckley

“When you forgive, you love. And when you love, God’s light shines upon you.” – Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

“True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.” – Oprah Winfrey 

 

iStock_000005374427Small

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the flower sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” – Mark Twain 

“Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.” – Corrie Ten Boom

Six reasons why forgiveness is good for you:

  1. It expresses faith that what goes around comes around.  The knowing that sooner or later, justice will be served when the time is right.
  2. It’s evidence of a humble heart. Being aware that we each have been un-deserving of forgiveness at one time or another.  Since I need mercy for my own wrongdoings, I must therefore pay forward the mercy of forgiveness to others who did me wrong.
  3. It’s lifts your spirit.  It’s about taking the high road rather than stooping to the lowness of our enemy.  It’s a choice to rise above the incident or issue rather than allowing it to impact our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing.
  4. It shifts your atmosphere.  When you let go of anger, tension and anxiety over an offense, you regain a sense of freedom and peace, as though a weight is lifted off of you.
  5. It heals.  The process of forgiveness empowers you to let go of the offense, triggering a physiological response capable of releasing you from a burden of emotional baggage, chronic illness, feeling of heaviness or depression, the desire to self-medicate and mask negative feelings, anxieties or hopelessness, just to name a few.
  6. It gets your mind off yourself.  It ends the victim mentality once and for all.

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.”- Marianne Williamson

Dec 3

5 Comments

The elephant in the room

As we rapidly approach the end of 2012, I believe now is a good time to focus on something big.  What I’m talking about is an issue so deep and dark that it has plagued my community for at least twenty years.   It’s the root of many reasons why so many people are emotionally disconnected and refuse to attend meetings, volunteer, or have generally anything productive to do with the tribe whatsoever.  Yes, folks, it’s high time I address the elephant in the room because frankly, he’s been toying with my community for far too long.

I’m talking about…

Unforgiveness.

Oh yes…a lot of crap can happen in twenty years.  There is indeed a list reasons why people feel the way they feel, and that list is very long.  It includes:

  • broken promises,
  • false assumptions of life-long prosperity spoon-fed to multiple generations,
  • secrecy,
  • political manipulation,
  • financial misleading,
  • threats to remain blindly loyal or risk social and political disenfranchisement,
  • racism,
  • envy and jealousy,
  • people demanding unearned privileges,
  • bullying,
  • gossip,
  • rumors and lies about one another,

…just to name a few.

Sure, I get it.  As a matter of fact, I have personally been on the receiving end of a few generous portions of other people’s garbage.  I’ve been used, lied to, gossiped about, heckled, vandalized, manipulated, wounded, pigeon-holed, harassed, targeted, scapegoated, racially profiled, misunderstood, objected, rejected and suspected by peers, relatives and even a few bosses.  I know a lot of you can relate to what I’m sharing, and I’m sure some of you have experienced the same stuff, if not far worse.  Its enough to leave a girl wondering “why me” as she curls up in fetal position, defending the walls surrounding her wounded heart.  I’ll give you an example of what I mean.

Years ago, I confided in a tribal elder about the awful ways one of my cousins treated me.  She patiently listened to my long-winded emotional venting with a great deal of empathy, having experienced her own share of intense battles with others.  When I was done she proceeded to encourage me to not worry so much about what happened.  “These things have a way of working themselves out”, she said.  “Eventually, Lori, people who treat others badly find themselves tasting the magnitude of their own poison.”

Long story short, she was absolutely right.  I can honestly tell you that, as of this very moment, every person who ever treated me badly (without truly being sorry for it!) has suffered in some kind of way.  Some lost their jobs and a few continue struggling with torment, relationship strife, or chronic, debilitating illnesses.  As the saying goes, what goes around comes around.

Does that mean I think every issue involving chronic illness or social angst means a person brought it on him or herself? Absolutely not!  There are many causes for bad circumstances.  We each experience the consequences of our own words, behaviors and mindsets, the consequences of others’ words and actions, and the random impacts of bad timing, genetic predispositions or traumatic accidental mishaps.   But if there’s anything living and working at Mashantucket has taught me, it is this:

Life may not be fair, but our Creator is just.

Rather than holding a grudge, experience has taught me to pity those who despise or spitefully use me because I know in the long run they are only hurting themselves.  The truth is, I’m just as likely today as I ever was to become offended and hurt by the words and actions of others as any other human being.  But because of what I’ve learned about the poison of unforgiveness and the way it can infect individuals, families or even an entire community, I try my best to avoid holding onto anger and allowing bitterness to fester and take root within my soul.

My next few articles will cover the concept of forgiveness.  I’m not a psychologist;  I’m just one woman who learned some hard-knock lessons from really bad experiences, and I’m willing to share the gory details for everyone’s benefit. If what I’ve suffered can help anyone else gain a sense of understanding and freedom, then this is all worth it.

I once heard it bluntly explained this way: “Hurting people hurt people.”  Isn’t it time to end this cycle once and for all?

Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself so that you can move forward. – T.D. Jakes

← Older Entries
%d bloggers like this: